I know that feelings are valid, but it's the behavior that can be scrutinized.
Was my decision to cut contact problematic? Was the timing problematic? Or was the fact that I voiced anything at all problematic? Was it immature?
I believe my actions were valid. I believe my concerns were voiced. And consistently ignored.
I believe real friends would have at a bare minimum asked how I was doing.
Is this rigid thinking? I believe I was wronged. Why should I get over it, forgive and forget, if there was no apology or repair? For repeated offenses?
I have sensory issues and I'm prone to migraines. That's something that has been true since childhood, and many people have witnessed it.
I don't need the volume down and the windows open in a car because I don't care about your preferences or if you're cold. It's because with noise and poor air circulation, it is very likely I'll get a headache. And God forbid, I have a short tone and scowl while I have a migraine.
I don't need you to leave your fog lights off while serpentining through single lane mountain roads because it's my preference or desire to control. I need it because it's blinding when it flashes off those reflecting signs - bright lights do induce migraines. Also, I need to know that I won't have to face the trauma of an oncoming driver crashing because you wanted to see just how bright your lights were.
If we go camping, I'm not trying to make you set up sooner rather than later because that's just my preference. I suggest it because the sun and the winds will come and go as they please, regardless of your timeline, and we BOTH will struggle in the windy dark.
When we going camping, I'm not saying we should try to get there before 11pm, when the weather app says it's supposed to rain, because I want to control you. I'm saying it because both you AND I will not enjoy setting up in the rain. I'm saying it because both you AND I will be uncomfortable on an uncovered sleeping pad in the back of the jeep. With a wet dog.
Why am I the bad guy for wanting shelter? Why am the bad guy for wanting to prevent uncomfortable situations? Why is it so wrong that I'm unhappy with being wet when I'm supposed to sleep?
I didn't refuse to randomly drop you guys off at a football game just because it was inconvenient. It was inconvenient, last minute, I wasn't invited, and that's a very overstimulating and anxiety inducing environment for me. Why wouldn't you just call an Uber? You all make way more money than me. Why didn't you ask my partner for the favor?
I guess I'm not easy going because of my needs. But it's not from lack of wanting to be.