When did you stop loving me? And why did you insist on us continuing as a couple anyway?
At one point did I matter so little to you.
That you would let me sleep on the couch for months on end.
Not want to know why I was crying
Why was none of that enough to make you wonder if you even still wanted this?
The red flags:
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When you kept turning on your bright LED flood lights while driving on winding mountain roads in the dark. I asked you turn them off because the reflections off the road signs blinded me and gave me a headache. That should have been enough. Or the fact that it’s highly dangerous and you were blinding oncoming drivers.
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When I opened up to you about how my depression was impacting me and you had no response. You later told our therapist you felt like it just sounded like self-pitying.
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When you would get real low to increase leverage and force to yank our puppy the other way when she was pulling on her leash and told me it was the only way to redirect her.
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When your family would bring up how your mom was alone at the hospital for the birth of your youngest sister. I can’t remember why that happened but she was just like yep, I showed up to the hospital, had Becca, and waited to be picked up. I should’ve known then or asked questions about why that seemed like a normal and appropriate amount of support.
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When you randomly stepped on the gas to feel the acceleration, forgetting my motion sickness. And didn’t apologize.
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When you didn’t put in the same effort to our yard. It was supposed to be a team project. For bonding. Even if I ended up more into it. It was for us and our visitors. Having a nice space to host
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When you continued to let me sleep on the couch while potty training our dog so you could sleep through the night. For most of a year and half.
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When you left me home alone sick with a puppy to go on a camping trip that could have easily either been rescheduled or replicated.
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When I was alone eating cold soup in the snow because someone in the cabin didn’t tell everyone they had a severe shrimp allergy and that was all the food present that I could eat. And you didn’t check on me. You were busy feeding yourself.
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When you kept going to hang out with one of our friends but did not make plans to spend time with me.
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When you would bring your laundry to fold in the bedroom upstairs to watch stuff on the projector instead of folding laundry in the living room with me like we usually do